


Tease

by GarciaVivar



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Background Mattsun/Makki, Developing Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Light Angst, M/M, Oikawa is bad at relationships, insecure feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:22:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28851270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarciaVivar/pseuds/GarciaVivar
Summary: Oikawa has been leading Ushijima on since high school. He thinks it as a game.He understands why he himself is playing, but isn't sure why Ushijima is willing to hang around.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, my first Ushioi fic is here because Oikawa stole my soul.  
> This isn't quite what I had in mind when I started, but I actually like how it is now. It might seem a bit messy because of all the twists and turns in my head. My bad.

Despite what his appearance may suggest, Ushijima Wakatoshi is a surprisingly tender lover – in bed, that is. Oikawa is unaware of how he might behave in other aspects of a relationship – blissfully – because they are not in a relationship. Not really. Which is entirely because of Oikawa, and he is not unsatisfied with the situation whatsoever, thank you very much.

It was his decision anyway. There is no doubt that Ushijima wants to have a relationship. He is that type of guy. You know, the long-term-relationship type, the want-to-settle-down type, the exact-opposite-of-Oikawa-Toru type. Iwaizumi may disagree on the last statement as much as he wants to, but he would be wrong.

That is to say, Oikawa does not want a relationship with Ushijima. For now, at least. But he’d be insane to turn down an opportunity to bed him, even if it’s just to tease him, to toy with him, to torment him in some way. Didn’t he just say that Ushijima craves a relationship? Well, going through the motions with him is just like dangling a carrot – Oikawa will give him hope, but only hope. Matsukawa and Hanamaki may smirk and jokingly complain that he’s a petty bitch, but when somebody’s mere existence triggers Oikawa like Ushijima does, there’s just nothing too petty to be on the table.

He doesn’t quite remember how it all started, but it certainly was Ushijima who had made the first move. Oikawa wouldn’t deny that he might have put a little extra effort into being a tease – casual flirtation, meaningful glances, easily misinterpreted remarks. He casted them as each opportunity he got, and to an innocent standby they all seem to be nothing but trash talks, thrown around to distract the ace of an opponent team. In his defence, if Ushijima did not already have a thing for him, well, they wouldn’t have worked so well. That’s why Oikawa was not at fault here – see, Ushijima dug his own grave and all he needed was a nudge to fall into it face down.  
Oikawa gladly took on the role of that nudge, as well as that grave.

Those last few months was probably the best time ever in his high school life. All his petty little scheme came into fruition when Ushijima contacted him personally for the first time, asking him out for coffee. He declined, stating that he could not fathom what his old rival would want from him and felt safer remaining in the borders of Aoba Johsai. The next week Ushijima asked again, this time clearly stating that he had no ill intentions, and only wished to know Oikawa better. The reply was another no, because even after they both graduated from high school – which would be in several months’ time – Oikawa still had no wish to be a setter for Ushiwaka-chan, so there is no point in getting on his good side. It took slightly longer for the third invitation to come, with which attached the explanation that this would just be a personal hang out, and Ushijima expected to have something other than volleyball between him and Oikawa.  
Oikawa wasn’t too sure if the other had come up with the last text by himself, but he agreed to a date this time.

It took at least five formal dates – that is excluding the times they ran into each other, by pure chance or otherwise – for Ushijima to finally confess his feelings. Oikawa forgot what his reactions were, because back then he truly did not care. He was sure, though, that he put on a nice show for him, leading Ushijima to believe that no, he didn’t know this was coming and yes, he probably had something for him as well, he just needed a bit of time to cool down, fully comprehend his emotions and would get back to him later.

To be honest, Oikawa had half expected to jump into crazy hot sex with Ushijima right on the first date. Try as he might, it was impossible to ignore the way Ushijima looked at him as they pass each other by in Sendai City Gymnasium. It was so intense, so heated and so hungry that Oikawa was sure he’d have been burnt if Ushijima stared him for too long. So, it came as a surprise that Ushijima did not attempt anything even after he had confessed on the fifth date. When he was back home, alone, Oikawa wondered, and came to the conclusion that it must have been because of volleyball. Ushijima was attracted to him, that is true. But Ushijima was even more attracted to him playing volleyball.

So, their next date took place in a community gymnasium, where they played volleyball with some adults, to whom the game was simply a hobby for relaxing and getting in some physical exercise. It was just for fun mostly, but it was enough.

Oikawa did not play on the same team as Ushijima. He was true to his words, and refused to toss the ball for him even if the game was casual.  
It was a sweet day, because Oikawa’s team finally won for once. Volleyball was a game of six players after all, and Ushijima could not display his full strength when he didn’t have his elite teammates supporting him. Oikawa, on the other hand, exceled at finding the best ways to support each of his teammate, whoever they might be, and work with them to beat the opponent.  
Unless the other team was Shiratorizawa, his mind bitterly reminded him. But Oikawa quickly pushed the thought aside. It didn’t really count, he knew, but it was a win. And winning against Ushijima put him in a good enough mood to initiate a kiss with him, when they were the last ones left in the changing room.

That was when he knew that his plan worked.  
Ushijima at first was taken aback by his sudden advance, but after his brain processed the situation, he gave Oikawa the hottest kiss he had during the entirety of his high school time. Sure, his kiss was messy and inexperienced, but it was also eager, devoted, intense and passionate, just the way Oikawa had wanted it – pictured it to be. Don’t blame him for fancying kissing Ushijima, though. He had been teasing the guy for over a year now, and he couldn’t have possibly done that without being somewhat physically attracted to him.

In that hot blaze of a kiss, Oikawa reached down, expecting more actions. However, despite being obviously aroused, Ushijima managed to pull himself together and stopped him. Oikawa almost snapped, being cock-blocked by none other than his date himself, who he was barely tolerating to begin with. Fortunately, Ushijima was quick to give him a reason.

“Oikawa.” He said in a low, rumbling voice, still a bit out of breath due to that kiss they just shared, “Please don’t be mistaken. I would like to have you, but I prefer it to be at somewhere nice.”

Oikawa snickered, “Nice? Ushiwaka-chan, this is called making out. You don’t make out somewhere nice, you just do it. Or is it a Shiratorizawa thing? Are you guys so fancy that you have special designated places for making out?”

Ushijima shook his head, “No. It is my personal preference.”

Oikawa really tried, but he could not stop himself from cracking a smile. Nor could he ignore the single word that made a ripple in his heart.  
Cute. He thought.

“Alright, you prude.” He let out an exaggerated sigh, “We’ll do it your way. Get me somewhere nice while I’m still in the mood.”

So that was their first time, and instead of going all the way, they just snogged and humped. That nice somewhere turned out to be Ushijima’s room, which was clean and tidy for a high school boy, but could hardly be described as “nice” if you ask Oikawa. He thought about it afterwards, and came up with a good theory.

Ushijima Wakatoshi had to be a virgin, and was too shy to make out in public.  
He caught himself getting overjoyed by this conclusion, and smothered that little spark of glee almost instantly.

That had been so long ago, and most of what happened after that was a blur. But he still remembers that for a while there, he started to secretly wonder if this was really working. He dragged himself back every time, reenforcing the idea that no, he was only toying with Ushijima – but the kisses were hot and the snuggling was sweet, and the summer sun of Miyagi had never been so bright and beautiful. If those thought came to him a little too frequently and were a little too hard to push away, he could not be blamed.  
Because for a while there, towards the very end of his high school years, Oikawa had been very happy.

It ended just as fast as it started.  
They did not break up. It never got to that stage where both of them acknowledged that they were together. Ushijima probably assumed, but he took it frighteningly well when Oikawa broke the news to him that he would be going to Argentina for his college education, as well as his volleyball career. He only expressed minimal disappointment when Oikawa took pity on him and further explained that they would not be having a long-distance relationship, at least not a closed one.

“I intend to make it work.” Ushijima told him, “You are free to make your decision, and I will not be concerned.”

That did it, and Oikawa suddenly remembered why he had hated his guts for so long. Where he demanded attention, Ushijima responded with only dismissal. The ace of Shiratorizawa was always terribly concentrated on his own decisions and ideas, and whatever belonged to Oikawa did not “concern” him, as he himself put it. All those efforts, all those struggles and all the frustration earned no more than a spare glance, and were instantly deemed worthless of regard, because they did not fit into Ushijima’s Plan.

So, a simple “good” was the only response Oikawa gave, before turning around and walked out of whatever they had and into that vast, strange, exciting world of endless possibilities, where he could be valuable, and be valued by everyone, and Ushijima’s attitude would finally not be his concern, either.

Still, after all those years, here he is, lamenting that Ushijima Wakatoshi is too tender of a lover. Their sleepovers with extra action do not occur very frequently, since they are both professional players in different leagues, with half of a world between them. Oikawa has never asked if Ushijima is still trying to “make it work”, or has he finally given in and settled for whatever Oikawa is giving him. He doesn’t want to ask, as he doesn’t want an answer. Keeping things vague is his way, and being stuck in limbo forever is what Ushijima deserves.

His only dissatisfaction comes from the fact that whenever they do get in the actions, Ushijima is always so annoyingly tender. There’s nothing wrong with being tender, hell, Oikawa has enjoyed his fair share of sensual sex, and they were amazing to say the least. But sometimes he wants it hard, wants it rough, and wants it with such strength that he could be convinced that he’d die between the sheets. And Oikawa always gets what he wants.

Especially in bed, because he is just that good. He can tease someone until they literally come in their pants, make them want him so bad that they’d beg on their knees, and push them to such extreme that when they finally get their hands on him, that raw, ferocious mounting becomes an inevitability.

But just as always, he has that one exception who bears the name of Ushijima Wakatoshi.

No matter how good he is, no matter how much work he puts into teasing him – he can already see the cracks in Ushijima’s composure – this guy has never once truly lost it. He does not fuck Oikawa; he makes love to him. And that drives Oikawa crazy.

Mattsun and Makki (because it always has to be them) suggested honest communication, said it was the healthy way to deal with problems in sex life. But aliens have to come to earth, snatch him away and do some abhorrent operation on his brain before Oikawa would ask anything from Ushijima.

No, he will not be asking. He will do it his way, and that is to push Ushijima over the edge and see him lose his infuriating control – before he loses his. So far, unfortunately, he has been unsuccessful, and what’s more humiliating is that every time it turns out to be him who chokes and whines, crying for Ushijima to fuck him harder and deeper, fuck him until he has to waddle the next day – yet even then, Ushijima still keeps his steady pace, dragging himself inside Oikawa with so much deliberation, making Oikawa lose his mind.

During the time when they were still in high school, Oikawa thought it was because Ushijima had no experience and was too nervous to try to spice things up. He didn’t mind it back then. He was, after all, sleeping with girls most of the times, and even though there were a few quickies with several guys, he had never taken one inside him before Ushijima. Actually, coming to think of it, he felt almost relieved when he was treated so tenderly for the first time.

“That was nice.” He remembered making such a remark, when he and Ushijima lay side by side in the latter’s bed, panting as they came down from the peak.  
Ushijima was silent for a while, probably too entranced to speak. Oikawa sensed him shifting, and soon a pair of strong, muscular arms reached over to pull him close. With that handsome jawline right in front of his eyes, it was impossible not to lean in and press some kisses against it.

“I’m glad that you didn’t hate it.” Another minute passed before Ushijima finally opened his mouth, and his chest rumbled against Oikawa’s body as he spoke, “I was a little worried.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes. “Didn’t hate it” was obviously an understatement, but he wasn’t about to make any corrections and make Ushijima feel too good about himself. So, he grunted something under his breath, and whatever he said caused the other guy to chuckle softly, a sound that was unfairly adorable in his opinion.

He doesn’t know if Ushijima has been sleeping around with other people in all these years. There is no good way to ask that question, and Ushijima isn’t someone who’d volunteer this kind of information. Sometimes Oikawa speculates. Maybe he has, because each time they meet he can sense that Ushijima has changed a little in some way – towards the better. Recently he even developed the ability to interpret and express emotions without outraging others (or a specific other, namely Oikawa himself). When Oikawa noticed that for the first time, he was suddenly panicking about the possibility of Ushijima being in a relationship already, only keeping it open to sleep with him. He wasn’t jealous or possessive, not entirely. It’s just that if it was true, the game would become much less fun to play.  
There would be no point teasing someone who is already in possession of the thing that they want. Actually, it would seem very stupid to do so.  
And Oikawa didn’t like feeling stupid.

They were able to clear things up over a phone call at around midnight in Japan. The question could not wait, and the time wasn’t too inhumane, so Oikawa had to call right away. It took Ushijima a while to pick up, and when he did, he sounded like he was sleeping, though he didn’t seem angry as Oikawa would have been if he was the one who got woken up like that.

  
In short, Ushijima wasn’t in a relationship, Oikawa got his healthy boost of ego, and they could keep the status quo for however long they’d like – or Oikawa would like. Ushijima reminded him again that his offer of a relationship still stood, and Oikawa mockingly told him so was his offer of being his personal setter, and that one has never been accepted.  
Ushijima said it was good reasoning, unironically. Oikawa was amazed.

Still, the thought never completely goes away. Even now, even as Oikawa is daydreaming of Ushijima pounding him into the mattress, the sour taste lingers at the back of his throat. Sleeping around or not, Ushijima is definitely far more experienced now than when they were in high school, and the idea of him getting rough with someone else – giving them what he refuses to give Oikawa – is maddening. Oikawa is the one who should be getting what he wants, but he doesn’t, and he is not happy with it. And if Oikawa is not happy with it, he is doing something about it.


	2. Chapter 2

Friday finds Oikawa at the front of Ushijima’s apartment in Tokyo. The season won’t be starting until three weeks later, and he was granted absence from the college to travel back to Japan to see his family (and Ushijima). He spent the week with his mother and sister in Miyagi, and met up with some old friends.

One of them was Matsukawa.

“Pity that we were never able to have a proper reunion.” Mattsun sighed into his beer, “And who do we blame? Our captain and ace. Because the world is their oyster.”

“Have you been reading Hemingway?” Hanamaki, who was sitting right next to him, awed.

“I believe that’s Shakespeare. Hemingway’s all about Paris and feasts.” Oikawa helpfully corrected him.

“Just saying, I believe I overheard that somewhere.” Matsukawa shook his head, “How’s Iwa doing, anyway?”

“Still working on his degree somewhere, the last time I checked.” Oikawa took a sip of his drink, “Obviously too busy to talk to me.”

“That’s because you talk too much.” Hanamaki cheerfully stated. Oikawa glared at him, before remembering that he actually had something legit to ask.

He gave his cocktail a swirl, trying to look as casual as possible, “So, you guys have been dating for, how long is it again?”

His friends exchanged a look.

“It’s been on and off since high school.” Hanamaki answered with a shrug, “But we’ve settled down since last February.”

“And you live in Tokyo this entire time.” Oikawa addressed him, “How did you make it work with the distance in between?”

In the background, Matsukawa choked on his beer.

“Hold on,” He raised his eyebrows, “Are you asking for relationship advice?”

When Oikawa announces himself through the speaker, Ushijima actually sounds surprised. He is already waiting at the door when Oikawa arrives at his floor, dragging his luggage case behind.

“I did not know that you are coming.” He says, while Oikawa casually strolls into his apartment and immediately starts to look for his pair of flip-flops, “Otherwise I would have prepared something nice for dinner.”

“Don’t bother.” There they are, the turquoise-coloured pair that belongs to him, tucked away on the bottom shelf, “I’ll just have something simple, but make it good.”

Ushijima’s eyes go very soft, and Oikawa gets pulled into an embrace. He pretends to shove himself away, but Ushijima already knows him, and holds on tight.

“They said you are back in Japan.” He says, “But I wasn’t sure if you would come here. I’m glad you did.”

Oikawa gives him a peck on the cheek, “Don’t be silly, you know I’m coming.”

Ushijima doesn’t respond. The poor thing really has no idea, and Oikawa is very aware of that, because he is the one who’d sometimes decide not to see Ushijima during his visits. Occasionally he’d go as far as making a phone call to cancel their plan at the last second, with or without a good reason. And other times, just like this time, he’d pop up at Ushijima’s door completely unannounced, and would throw a fit if the guy isn’t there to let him in.

“What would you like to eat?” After a few seconds, Ushijima breaks the silence, “I still have some curry I cooked for dinner, but if you want something else…”

“Curry is fine.” Oikawa pouts, “I’m starving.”

“I will heat it up then.” Ushijima nods.

They go off in different directions, Ushijima heading to the kitchen and Oikawa going into the bathroom to take a shower. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply as hot water splashes on him, a strange feeling knitting a knot in his stomach as his muscles relaxed.

He didn’t make it so unpredictable just to be mean. He made it that way because he is afraid that he’d fall into the habit of always coming to him.

With Ushiwaka, falling into a habit would be a bit too easy.

Oikawa puts a spoonful of curry and rice in his mouth, and closes his eyes as he savours the taste. Ushijima’s cooking has never disappointed him. He keeps on eating, half expecting a question from his companion, before he realises that right, that probably won’t happen, because Ushijima is too preoccupied with watching him eat.

“So,” He decides to initiate the conversation with a mouthful of dinner, “I’m staying for another two days before I head back. I’m stopping over in Brazil first, Shoyo said his friend is coming to visit and invited me to their meet up.”

“Shoyo.” Oikawa sees recognition in Ushijima’s eyes, “Hinata from Karasuno. I remember him.”

“He’s not that easy to forget.” He amuses, “I ran into him playing beach volleyball. Impressive.”

“I know.” To his surprise, Oikawa nods, “I saw the photo.”

“The – oh, well.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, slightly annoyed as he swallowed another spoonful of food, “Since when did you start to use social media?”

“I don’t.” Ushijima answers with honesty, “Kageyama showed me.”

“Kage –”

“I think someone from Karasuno sent it to him.”

Oikawa sighs. He still doesn’t quite understand how these people manage to survive in modern age without having any social media accounts, but somehow, he is not surprised.

They chat idly over the course of dinner, and no matter how many times Oikawa’s internal alarm system screams that this is not what he came here for, he brushes it off in favour of Ushijima’s steady, gentle voice.

It is until they are both tangled in bedsheets, limbs wrapping around each other, hungrily kissing and mouthing and sighing into each other’s skin that Oikawa finally remembers. He is here to tease whatever he wants out of Ushijima, and he is determined to do just that.

Swinging his leg, Oikawa straddles above Ushijima’s laps, cups his face and stares straight into those olive eyes. With his head tilting slightly backwards and neck exposed, Ushijima seems so vulnerable and submissive, a stark contrast to his invincible persona on the volleyball court. In his eyes is the reflection of Oikawa, a satiate smile dancing on his lips. The image gradually enlarges as Oikawa leans down, and pauses when they are barely inches apart.

Ushijima swallows. He has learnt to be patient and let Oikawa do his things, and knows that whatever reward that is coming will worth the waiting.

Oikawa smells like mint. He casts his eyes downwards, breaking that intense stare, and sighs.

“I wish I could understand you, Waka-chan. You are always so unreadable.”

Ushijima is sure he looks as confused as he feels. He wants to say that he is always an open book in front of Oikawa, and Oikawa is truly the unreadable one – unpredictable, unapproachable. But a finger pressing against his lips forbids him from talking back.

“I know what you want, but I never know why you’d want it.” Oikawa continues, leaning down to kiss the jawline that he can’t help loving, occasionally nibbling at the skin there. Ushijima hums, tightening his arms around Oikawa’s waist.

“What is it that you really want?” The words trace a line to his earlobe, where warm breath and moist tongue linger sensually, “My tosses? My loyalty? My friendship, or my heart?”

Ushijima closes his eyes and lets out a moan as those skilful fingers start working their way down his chest, his stomach, and keep going. With Oikawa obscenely making love to his ear with his lips and tongue, thinking becomes an impossible task. As he listens to that mesmerising chant, only one thought emerges from the haze.

He wants all of that, and then some more.

But he knows…

“But you know I can’t give you any of those.” Oikawa’s words are unnecessarily cruel as always, “You know what you can take, though, so come and take it.”

With that, he finally leans in and closes the last bit of distance between them. They kiss with their mouths open, their tongues sucking onto each other as if they were dying of thirst, only breaking up when the lack of air makes their heads light. Oikawa tastes sweet and deadly, his words quiet as a breath, but loud as a thunder.

Again, and again, Oikawa mouths the phrase.

“Take me.”

…

Oikawa blinks.

He is on his back, out of breath, spreading wide with sweat all over him. Ushijima is lying next to him. Oikawa doesn’t need to turn his head to know that he is being watched.

“What was that?” He whispers.

Ushijima remains quiet.

“What was THAT?” The initial shock that comes with the orgasm finally fades, and Oikawa literally bounces up from the bed. He squeaks as he throws himself over, pinning Ushijima down with his body weight, demanding an answer, “What have you done to me?”

“I made you come.” Ushijima says in the most matter-of-factly manner. It would have sounded suggestive if it was said by anyone else.

Oikawa buries his face in his palms.

“I know.” He suddenly feels exhausted, “You tortured that out of me.”

He is overexaggerating again. Whatever Ushijima just did was no torture, and even if it was, it must have been the sweetest kind. The way their bodies touched, the way he was worshipped – the way he was split open and claimed, piece by piece – Ushijima conquered him like a merciful king, gentle but irresistible. He dragged that orgasm out of Oikawa with languishing patience, and left him trembling under his touch like a withering autumn leaf.

“Damn.” Oikawa curses under his breath. His legs turn weak as the past hour replays itself in his head.

Ushijima wears a puzzled frown.

“Did you not enjoy it?” He enquires, “Was there something wrong?”

Oikawa wants to, really wants to scream to that infuriatingly sincere face that everything was wrong – trust him, he really wants to – but because of some unnameable reason he simply cannot bring himself up to do it.

“No.” Instead, he plunges face down into his pillow, too tired to lift a finger, “It’s fine. Never mind.”

Silence settles in, and for a while neither of them speak.

“Oikawa.” Finally, Ushijima talks, his palm lovingly messaging the lower half of the other man’s back, “You are very attractive when you play volleyball.”

The statement manages to coax out some interest from Oikawa. He turns a bit, now lying on his side so that he’d be able to see Ushijima’s face and demand more explanation without words.

“Sometimes you remind me of that in bed.” The speech continues, “You are an amazing setter. When you are on court, you are alluring. You make everyone hungry for your toss, not just the spikers, not just the ones on your team. You entice. You drive us crazy.”

Oikawa can’t help but blushing at the blunt and honest praises. Ushiwaka may not know how to charm people with his words, but from time to time, his most unfiltered opinion sounds just as sweet as a love poem, if not sweeter.

“You are one to talk.” He mumbles under his breath.

They kiss again, lazily, almost intimately. Against his lips, Ushijima’s voice rumbles.

“I love it, Toru, when you tease me.”

Oikawa’s eyes shoot open, his mouth agape with astonishment. He is speechless. And then, he is furious.

“You insufferable –” He starts to scream, but the words get caught in his throat when he sees Ushijima smiling with his eyes, and suddenly it all dawns on him.

He knows.

“I wouldn’t put it that way.” Oikawa waved his hand in dismissal, “I’m just curious.”

“Because?” Hanamaki blinked.

“I don’t know, maybe I can use your tactics someday.” Oikawa curled his lips.

“Tokyo and Sendai are not that far away apart, though.” Matsukawa said almost knowingly, “It’s not like we live in different countries or something.”

“Ah.” Oikawa found himself getting flustered, tumbling on his words, “I – no, I mean, it’s not like we are in different – it’s hypothetical! There isn’t anyone!”

Mattsun and Makki giggled like the high schoolers they were.

“Oh, forget it.” Oikawa glared, “I’m going to call Iwa-chan and tell him you are bullying me.”

“Is he threatening us?” Hanamaki turned to his boyfriend in fake disbelief.

“I swear –”

“Okay, alright.” Matsukawa finally yielded, “Seriously though, there is one thing that you have to make sure. Trust me on this one, we’ve treaded some rough waters here.”

“Which is?”

“You have to be sure this is what you want.” Mattsun said, as he downed the last drops of his beer.

What does he want?

Ushijima wants a relationship. Oikawa wants steaming hot sex. Ushijima wants everything from him, including the parts that he isn’t ready to give. Maybe he’ll never be ready.

But Oikawa wants him to wait.

Perhaps someday Ushijima will get tired of waiting and finally leaves, and it will be what he deserves. Oikawa will not chase after him crying and begging. He will just have a Ushiwaka-shaped hole in his heart, and it will bleed and bleed until his blood run dry.

It’s dangerous to play with feelings, especially when they are yours. But Oikawa is drawn to danger like the moth is drawn to fire. He can’t be stopped until the last layer wears through and the last thread snaps, leaving him standing in the ruins after the storm.

Despite that, despite his illogical, hysterical inclination of self-sabotage, Oikawa wants him to wait – with nothing more than an undelivered promise, hidden between the kisses in the faceless nights.

Someday, something will change. Ushijima may lose his stubbornness, the stubbornness that has always been there to remind Oikawa of his “insignificant pride”, the stubbornness that, paradoxically, is the exact reason why Ushijima is still here, still waiting.

Maybe Oikawa will wear out. He is human after all, and when he gets tired of all the bizarrerie of running, swirling, having more fun than what is healthy, he will stop and look for a place to rest. There is a lingering fear that he will not be able to find it, and he will fall, spiralling downwards from the sky.

He wants Ushijima to be there to catch him.

He teases and teases, so that he can keep him around for another day, another month, another year. Until that someday, he will just have to keep teasing, keep himself wanted. Give a little, take a little, change up the beats.

Somewhere down the line, Ushijima has joined him. The teased becomes the teaser, holding precisely what Oikawa wants in front of his eyes, luring him closer. The realisation nearly makes his heart stop.

He should be afraid. He doesn’t like being known like this. But somehow, he only feels grounded and safe, as if he can play as much as he wants, as long as he wants, and when he turns around, he will see Ushijima there, waiting, still waiting, with all of his annoying stubbornness and incredible patience.

And he will finally see the string around his little finger, tying him to Ushijima. It is made of unspoken promises and subtle teases, back and forth, never breaking, never fading.

And he will be happy again.


End file.
